Flying Home

Sometimes, in life, you live in India.  Then, sometimes, you leave India.  And sometimes, in the process of leaving India, you have weird moments.  It’s like culture shock, but you feel dumb because it’s, technically, your own culture that is shocking you.  I have had many of those moments in this ridiculously long travelling journey.  Here are some of the weird ones.

1.       Literally stopping in my tracks and staring with my mouth open at the number of white people in line for the flight to Chicago.  As I left India, I was on a plane that still had a very high ratio of Indians onboard.  I got to Frankfurt, wandered around, sat and read a book.  When I got up to go stand in line, all I could see was white people.  It sounds dumb, but it was such a weird moment for me. 

2.       Freezing to death on the airplane.  I have acclimated to the ridiculously hot Indian climate, so my body was a little shocked by the 8 hours of straight air-conditioning on the plane.  I had on a jacket and  two blankets and was still so dang cold.

3.       Unapologetically eavesdropping, all the time.  It felt very unusual to hear strangers speaking English with an American accent.  My ears were fascinated and it led to some pretty intense and obvious eavesdropping.  Whoops.

4.      Western toilets.  I’ve used a couple of them this summer, but it is strange to have them every time I go into a bathroom.  Also, I don’t have to bring my own toilet paper, which is also weird.

5.       Developing full-on bipolar disorder on the airplane.  I received a giant stack of cards from my students at Rising Star before I left.  I chose, quite unwisely, to read those cards on the plane.  I, of course, starting crying.  So, in an effort to make myself feel better, I decided to watch videos of the kids that I have on my phone, and I started laughing.  The lady sitting next to me was probably a bit concerned about my mental stability.  I can’t help it, I love those kids!

6.      Thinking the dinner on the plane was basically a gourmet meal.  I was so excited about that food.  It was stuff I hadn’t been able to eat for three months.  Not an ounce of curry, and….wait for it….. a salad!  With lettuce!  Whaaaaaaaaaatt?!  It was tiny and dry, but I was feeling like the queen of England at that moment. 

7.       My total inability to get over my Indian mindset.  The flight attendants turned the lights off on the plane so that people could sleep.  When they switched off, I felt mild irritation that the power was out.  The power goes out about 50 times a day in India, and it took me about 10 minutes to realize that it wasn’t a power outage, they had just flipped the lights off.  Also, I heard a kid yell, “Annie!” and I thought he said, “Auntie!” and I felt excited.  I have also been speaking to the flight attendants in pretty chopped up “India English” all day.

8.       Realizing that I have become a food hoarder.  In India, this is a useful skill.  If you have something left over that you may not be able to get your hands on later, you keep it.  However, people look at you weird when you try to save airplane food.  Don’t do it.

9.       My outfit.  Apparently, in America, it’s not normal to be wearing flowy chuddidar pants, a bag with the “OM” symbol on it, and a hand covered in henna.  I would blend right in in India.

10.   My excitement over the “3G” symbol on my phone.  The second that popped up I went straight into SNL skit “Oh my gosh….” Mode.  I was so excited.  I was feeling all happy about technology and the universe.  Seriously, texting, phone calls, 3G!  I don’t know if I can handle that much coolness right now.

I can’t believe my Indian summer is over and I’m back in America.  I miss Rising Star so much.  However, I can’t wait to see my family!  Off to my last flight.  Let’s hope it’s short.

Independence Day

Well, friends, today is India’s Independence Day.  I’m currently sitting in the Chicago airport waiting to board my last flight home.  I can’t connect to the internet, so I’m typing this on Word and I’ll post it later.  My thoughts have been with India and all my sweet little kids today as they celebrate the nation I have come to love.  So, in celebration of Independence Day, here are the top ten things I love about India.

1.       The people.  Seriously, they are incredible.  Obviously there are the bad seeds, just like there are in any country.  However, the vast majority of the people that I have met in India are beautiful, strong, resilient, and extremely friendly.  I love driving down the street waving to people and watching their faces light up with a smile as they wave back.  I have learned so much from the people I have met in India, especially the leprosy-afflicted in the colonies.  I had so little time with them, yet they had a huge hand in changing my heart and my life. 

2.       The colors.  Everything in India is brilliantly colored.  The clothing, the signs, the houses, the horns of the cows that wander the streets.  I love the bold, unapologetic colors that paint the landscape and culture of India.

3.      The fabrics.  India has the most beautiful fabric ever.  I love the bold, extravagant designs found so often on the sarees and chuddidars.  I love that they are endlessly bedazzled, metallic, or patterned.  Some of my favorite mental pictures from India are those of glittering, shimmering fabrics hanging in dingy, narrow alleys.  The fabric is a perfect example of how people try to bring a touch of beauty to their lives.

4.       The transportation.  Watching people travel around on the streets is one of my favorite things. I never would have believed you could fit 6 full grown humans onto a single motorcycle, but you sure can.  I am constantly amazed at the things people carry around on their motorcycles.  All you need to transport gigantic, bulky items is your motorcycle and your friend to hold it. Indians know how to pack the car completely and totally full of people, cargo, animals, you name it.  I can’t tell you how many times we have laughed about all the crazy things we see out on the roads.

5.       The cows and goats.  They have free reign in India.  They wander around on the sides of the roads, in the middle of the roads, through people’s houses, on the sidewalks.  At Rising Star, we have a goat named Lola.  She regularly walks into the school, into the Elephant house, into offices.  I love all the weird things you see the cows and goats doing.

6.       The monkeys.  I love seeing them in trees or climbing on people’s houses.  I wish this happened in America.

7.       The prices of things.  So many things in India are so cheap!  I love that you can get a full-blown, delicious meal with drinks for around $3.  I love that you can haggle with store owners to try to get a good price.  Rupees are seriously the best.

8.      The smells.  Okay, so this one is more sentimental.  I don’t actually love the smells, I just love that it’s a part of India and is so unique to the area.  Often, when we walk around, we catch a “whiff of India”.  It’s a smell you can’t understand until you experience it.  It’s a mix of burning trash, cows, dirt, and urine.  It’s absolutely awful, but I love that it’s something you can only experience in India.

9.      The faith.  For the vast majority of people in India, religion is a deep-rooted part of their daily lives.  Whether they are Christian, Hindu, Muslim, or anything else, they recognize and praise the presence of a greater being in their everyday lives.  I have talked about this before, but faith here is so sustaining.  It gives people hope when their lives seem so dire and tragic.  Their faith helps them to smile, to work, to serve.  So many people have such tangible faith.  They have taught me so many lessons about trust in the Lord and child-like faith.

10.  Rising Star Outreach.  It is a slice of heaven.  It is a sanctuary in a place of chaos and turmoil.  It is full of tiny hands, smiling faces, and deep-rooted love.  It is my home-away-from-home.  I feel like I truly have family at Rising Star.  The children, the volunteers, the house mothers, and the school staff have come to be my amazing Indian family.  I am so grateful that I have them in my life.  Even now, away from Rising Star and India, I feel their love and their prayers.  I hope they can feel mine.  I am eternally grateful and indebted to these people.  If you want to experience life in a way that will change you forever, volunteer at Rising Star.  Sign up for a session, fall in love with those sweet little faces, and let it push you.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I had this opportunity.  I love my Rising Stars!

It's All About Love

Every summer at Rising Star has a theme that is chosen and described by the coordinators.  This year our theme is "It's All About Love".  When I first arrived here at Rising Star, I thought the theme was cute and was a good choice.  However now, as I sit here with only one week left in this unbelievable summer, our theme has become a deep reminder of some of the most important lessons I have learned here.

I love the kids and staff of Rising Star.  You guys already know this.  I am obsessed with them.  They make me laugh and cry.  They teach me about joy and pain and life and love.  They push me to give more, to love more, to do more, and to teach more.  They need so much love, and I am constantly stretched to open my heart a little more, give a few more hugs, spend a little more time.  I have given more in this summer than I could ever have imagined.  However, no matter how much I gave or continue to give, it could never measure up to what I have received here in India.  Every single one of those kids has so much love to give.  They have so much light and so much energy.  Their weird little sayings and adorable mannerisms leave me with a permanent smile and a light heart.  Their resilience has humbled me in ways I could not have anticipated.  They have taught me how to see joy and light.  They have helped me to understand that it's okay to love openly, enormously, instantaneously, and unconditionally.

I love the volunteers that I am here with.  I love the constant stream of short term volunteers that have cycled through here this summer.  There have been some absolutely incredible people around and they have taught me so much.  However, I can't describe to you how much I love the long term volunteers. I have learned so many different lessons from every single one of them.  Julie teaches me about overcoming trials.  Callie teaches me to greet the world with a smile. Miranda teaches me to have faith.  Amy teaches me to love more purely.  Danielle teaches me about willingness to serve.  Carl teaches me to enjoy each day.  Dane teaches me to be adventurous.  Celina teaches me to work as hard as I can.  Brenda teaches me to be organized.  Sarah teaches me to be creative.  I truly believe that one of the biggest reasons I was supposed to be at Rising Star now is because of them.  They are the greatest Rising Star family members I could have asked for.

I love my family.  I have, hands down, the greatest family in the entire world.  Their encouragement and support keeps me going and helps me remember why I'm here.  I have been stunned and overwhelmed by their interest in what I'm doing here.  I feel an intense sense of gratitude and joy whenever one of my family members tells me they want to sponsor one of these kiddos.  I'm so grateful that they are so accepting and understanding of this place and these people that I have fallen in love with.  I can't tell you, family, how much it means to me that you are trying to love these people that I love.  As sad as I will be to leave Rising Star, I am so excited to see my family again.  They mean the whole world to me.

I have started to learn to love myself here.  Often, we are our own harshest critics.  That is certainly true of me.  Yesterday, I was reading through some of my past blog posts, trying to summon the motivation to write some new ones, when I was so struck by how much I have changed here.  My outlook on the world is completely different.  I have gained some much-needed self-assurance that I am capable of doing good and hard things.  I can use my hands to lift someone else.  I can use my voice to comfort those who need it.  I can spend my time with those who are in need of some love, who are sick, who are lonely or downtrodden.  I can teach kids to read and write.  I can share my experiences and pray that they will be meaningful to someone.  I have the capacity to contribute to our world in positive ways.  I may never be Mother Theresa, but I can do my small part to help those who need it.

Finally, I have gained a love for my Heavenly Father here in India.  I can't imagine being in this harsh place and not believing that there is something bigger than this existence.  I have had so many experiences here in India where I have felt helpless or inadequate.  No matter how long I hold the hand of a person who has lost everything because of leprosy, I can never bring back the life they lost.  No matter how long I hold a child, I can never erase the pains of their past or prevent the pains they may face in the future.  In these moments, I realize the only thing left to do is to turn it over to God.  I know, now, what they mean when they say His grace is sufficient.  He is the only one who can fix it.  He is the only one that can truly comfort their hearts when they lie down at night.  I have learned that, after I have done all I can to help, I have to trust in Him to fill in the pieces.  I am forever indebted to the people I have met here that have taught me that lesson.  I can't wait for the day that they will be made whole in every way by Christ.  They are the sweetest souls and I continually pray that they will feel God's love for them.

Thank you all for reading this long post.  India is amazing.  I can't describe it, I can't capture it in pictures.  I'm so grateful to all of you for supporting me and trying to understand my jumbled thoughts.  You are all my rock.  I love you.

The Trip of a Lifetime pt. 2

After the Taj Mahal, we headed out to the Agra Fort.  The fort is the palace where the emperor who built the Taj lived.  He later spent the last eight years of his life imprisoned in the Fort by his eldest son, who had become the new emperor. The fort was absolutely one of the most spectacular places I've ever seen in my life.  I could've wandered around that place the entire day listening to Ramesh describe daily life in the fort and the way it would have looked back then.  I was so fascinated by every aspect of the palace.  Once again, I was ridiculously overexcited and was loving my life.

I found this spot with this unbelievable view of the fort, the river, and the Taj.  I wished more than anything that the spot could be my new home and I could spend my life gazing out at the astonishing view.

After the fort, we went to a Persian rug shop and watched as two men hand tied each individual thread onto the loom to create a gorgeous rug.  We did a little shopping, got some delicious dinner at a hotel, and then crashed into bed.

The next day, we set out to head back to Delhi and get to the airport.  Along the way, we stopped to....wait for it......ride an elephant!  Yeah, that happened.  In real life.  It was amazing and slightly nerve-wracking.

We also stopped at a Hindu temple and took a few pictures.

Afterwards, we went to the airport and I jumped on a flight back to my Rising Star home.  My trip was absolutely unreal.  It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.  I'm so grateful that I'm here in India and that I got to see one of the wonders of the world.  I can't believe this actually happened in my life.  

As incredible as the entire trip was, I was so excited to get back to Rising Star and to the kids.  Their smiles and hugs when I returned was the best thing in the whole world. I love my little home here.  

Thank you so so so much to my Mom, who is incredible and so supportive of me in every way.  Thank you to Benson, Ramesh, and Abish Travels for the most amazing trip ever, and thank you to every one of you who is reading my blog and sending me your love and prayers.  I am so blessed.  I can't say it enough.  Thank you.

The Trip of a Lifetime

Hey, friends!  I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've posted.  Time seems to always be slipping through my fingers here.  I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could hit the pause button and have some more time here.

Last week, I went on the most insanely incredible vacation in the world.  I signed up to go with Session 2 to New Delhi and Agra.  Rising Star is in southern India, and all of our weekend trips are within a few hours of our campus, so I was so excited to go experience Northern India.  Let me tell you, it was absolutely incredible.

We set out at 3:00 a.m. to go to the Chennai airport and catch our 7:00 a.m. flight to Delhi.  The bus ride to Chennai was pretty mundane as we all tried to sleep a little more.  We soon rediscovered how impossible it is to sleep while driving in India.  The constant horns blaring and car swerving make for quite a bit of restlessness. Finally we arrived at the airport and boarded our flight.

When we arrived in Delhi, it was lightly raining and I was hit by this feeling of how ridiculously incredible my life was.  That feeling lasted me throughout the entire trip.  We met up with our tour guides at the airport.  Let me take a moment and attempt to explain to you how amazing they are.  We went with a company called Abish Travels.  It is run by a man named Benson and his friend, Ramesh.  They are seriously now some of my favorite people.  The entire trip was organzied to a T because of these two.  It was so wonderful to have absolutely no worries about how to get places, how to negotiate fair prices, and where to go while in northern India.  My gratitude for Benson and Ramesh is abundant.  Seriously, if you are ever in south western Asia, try to book your trip with Abish Travels, they are amazing.

Anyways, so we all jumped onto our giant tour bus and started driving around the city as Ramesh began telling us the history of the city and of the different buildings we passed.

 I was so stunned by how different Delhi was than any of the places I had been in Tamil Nadu.  It was so much cleaner and more developed.  In parts of the city, I got the feeling that I was in New York instead of India.  However, soon we jumped over to Old Delhi and things got crazy.

A rickshaw ride through Old Delhi had been arranged for us, so we all hopped out of the bus and into rickshaws.

This was one of my favorite things.  I have never seen anything like the streets of Old Delhi.  They were these tiny, narrow streets packed with people. Overhead, there were vicious tangles of electrical wires and monkeys climbing on the buildings.

Teeny little shops were selling everything imaginable, including some of the most spectacular fabrics I've ever seen in my life.  The streets were so packed, I was literally brushing shoulders with people or motorcyclists as they passed by.

We stopped briefly at an incredible little spice market and learned about some of the Indian spices and spice mixtures commonly used for cooking.  I loved seeing this very raw, basic part of Indian life.

Afterwards, we hopped back in the rickshaws and were taken back to the bus to go eat dinner and begin the 8 hour bus ride to Agra.

There was a big festival taking place the next morning throughout India, so the streets were jam-packed and the drive took a few hours longer than normal.  I sat with Benson for most of the bus ride and listened to stories about his life, his kids, and his goals.  I was so humbled and inspired by him and his thoughts about the world, the church, and India.  After several hours of driving, we stopped at McDonalds for dinner.  Let me tell you, I have never had chicken nuggets that tasted so good in my entire life.

Finally, we arrived at our hotel.  Our five star hotel.  I thought I had just walked into a palace.

After I was able to overcome the initial shock of how beautiful the hotel was, I headed off for my room.

I made a beeline for the shower because I was so excited to have a real shower.  I was excited to the point of fainting.  After a long, luxurious shower, I settled down into my beautiful, deep, soft bed and slept like a dead person.

The next morning, we ate breakfast and headed out for the Taj Mahal.  The Taj Mahal!  I don't know how many of you have seen the SNL skit with Kristin Wiig where she is overly excited about the surprise party, but that's how I was.  For real.  I was so FREAKING excited!

When we got to the Taj, we stood outside the gigantic, beautiful gate and listened to Ramesh tell us a bit about the building.  I was so fascinated with all the stories he told us throughout the day.  He seriously knows everything, and I loved every second of it.

Finally, we walked through the intricately carved arch at the gate, and the majesty and beauty of the Taj Mahal swept me off my feet.

Ramesh said that when Bill Clinton first saw the Taj, he said that there are two kinds of people in the world, those who've seen the Taj Mahal and those who have not.  I was awestruck as I stood and contemplated all the things in my life that led me to be in India, standing in front of the Taj Mahal.  I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude and love as I stared at the beautiful monument and symbol of a man's love for his wife.

We spent hours exploring the Taj and its grounds.  I was obsessed with hearing Ramesh tell stories about the building of the Taj and all the details that went into its design and construction.  The Taj was built by the emperor of India after his wife passed away during childbirth.  He had several wives and concubines, but this particular one was the only one he had married for love.  When she died, he ordered for the Taj Mahal to be built as a tribute to her and as a resting place for her body.  The entire building is covered in the highest quality white marble.  It is covered in intricate floral designs and carving.  However, not one stitch of paint was used on the building.  All the floral designs are precious stones that have been hand-cut and hand-embedded into the white marble.  The idea that this all happened hundreds of years ago with no power tools is purely astonishing.

The entire time, as we took photos in front of the Taj, we were surrounded by groups of Indians watching and photographing us.  We were a big spectacle the whole time, but it was so incredible that we couldn't care.

After hours of ridiculously excited, awestruck exploration of the Taj Mahal, we hopped back into a bus and headed off to a marble shop where we got to watch as workers inlaid precious stones into marble in the exact same way that the builders of the Taj did.  It was fascinating and I may or may not have fallen madly in love with this incredible table.

After the marble shop, we headed out to the Agra Fort, which I will talk about in my next post.

So Comedy

Today I wanted to do a quick post about some of the crazy, wonderful, hilarious things these 230 beautiful kiddos say to me in their adorable little accents on a daily basis.

1.  "It so comedy."  This is one of my very favorites.  They say this whenever they think something is funny. They will tell you a story or describe a movie they've seen and follow it up with "It was so comedy."  I love it.

2.  "I take and come."  They will say this whenever they are going to go bring you something.  I hear this about ten-thousand times on Fridays when their weekly reading sheet is due. They will come talk to me and say, "My paper is in hostel.  I take and come."  It can also be used when they want you to go get something for them, "Auntie, I need marker.  You take and come."

3. "Auntie, doubt."  This phrase has begun to weave itself into my dreams now because I hear it so much.  This basically means they have a question.  In math class, you will see a kid raise their hand and shout, "Auntie, doubt!"  It's pretty adorable.

4. "I'm doing my duty." They call their chores "duties".  Whenever their housemother tells them to do something, they will tell us they have to do their duty.  I wish you could hear their cute little accents when they say it, it makes it so much better.

5. "Why you no come!?" This is usually said with a little grumpy face as they march up to you.  Luckily, I've only heard this one a few times in my summer here.  They use it when you don't do something they want you to and they want answers.

6. "Super!" This is the general positive remark around here.  And by here, I don't just mean Rising Star, I mean India.  Everything is super.  Whenever they like things, they tell you it's super.  Even the tiniest ones know that the best compliment you can give is super.

7. "Auntie!" This is the word I hear the most around here.  The kids yell this out when they see you, when they want you to come stand or sit by them, when they want you to play with them, basically no matter what they want.  They call all the female volunteers and housemothers Auntie.  It makes me ridiculously happy to hear it shouted out on the playground or outside of the school.

8. "Grandma" This is what they call any volunteer who appears to be over the age of 40.  Also, they call some of us Grandma when they're trying to be funny.

9. "When you go to America?"  This is one of the first things the kids ask you when they meet you, and is a question that is repeated often.  They are always trying to gauge how much time they have left with you.  They love volunteers.

10. "Yen, Yem, Yeggs, Yamen" Indians put a 'y' sound at the beginning of words that start with a vowel. The kids say their "Yay, B, C's". The letter 'N' becomes "Yen". 'M' becomes "Yem."  Eggs are "Yeggs", and "Amen" is "Yamen".  It is one of my favorite things.

11.  "This boy" or "This girl" This is what the kids say when they are talking about one of the other kids.  Two boys will come up to you and one will point to the other and say something like, "This boy is my friend."

12. "Clash!"  The boys are obsessed with wrestling.  They have WWE cards which they use to play a game they created.  The game is similar to the game kids play with Pokemon cards.  They each pick a card and battle.  The cards have the rank of the wrestler, the size of his bicep, the size of his chest, his weight, etc. So one of them will pick a category that they think their wrestler excels in (if they think he has the bigger bicep, they will choose bicep).  Then he yells it out and follows it with the word clash.  So on the playground, you always hear things like, "Bicep 32, Clash!"  or "Weight 200, Clash!"  It is ridiculously adorable.

13. "What is your bicep?"  Their WWE obsession makes them curious about what everyone's bicep measurements are.  They always run up to volunteers and ask them what their bicep is.

14.  "I tell to him." The word 'tell' is used for anything involving speaking.  Instead of saying "I said.." or "I will say..", they say "I tell..."  When you ask them who said they could do something, they say, "My housemother tell." or "One volunteer tell."

15. "You give one paper" This happens when they need a piece of paper in class.  They raise their hand and say, "You give one paper."  Also, they pronounce paper with a short 'a' sound, like in candy.

16. "What is my name?"  They are constantly quizzing volunteers on their names.  This becomes quite the challenge when there are 230 of them and they have names like Veralekshmi, Vijaybalaji, Amirthavasan, and Ambarasu. There is also a kid named Marutharajamannikkam.  Not kidding, that's his name.

17. "This boy is beating me." The constant shout on the playground. If they receive any sort of hit or shove from one of the other kids, they run over and say, "This boy (or girl) is beating me."

18. "Auntie, photo!"  They love cameras.  Love.  If they see you with a camera, they swarm you and try to shove each other out of the way as they yell, "Auntie, photo!"  It's chaos, but also kind of hilarious.

19. "I want to go to there."  Whenever they read a story that takes place somewhere cool or they watch a movie, they will say this.  For some reason that extra 'to' in there makes it so much cuter.  The volunteers have all adopted this one as well.  When it's hot and we think about the pool in Mamallapuram, we say, "I want to go to there."

20. "You know my sponsor?" These kiddos sure do love their sponsors. Whenever they find out you are from the same place as their sponsor, they will inevitably ask you if you know their sponsor.  They will then launch into a story about who their sponsor is, what their sponsor likes to do, the names of the sponsors family members and pets, and any other little facts they can think of.  Seriously, they love their sponsors.  If any of you want to sponsor one of the kids, let me know.  You'll get yourself a little best friend for the rest of your life.

I love these kids. I love Rising Star.  This place is so incredible and I cannot believe my time here is winding down.  I hope you all know how much I love you and how grateful I am to have the family and friends that I have.